


Fool Me Once Shame On You, Fool Me Twice Shame On Me

by PastaLeaf



Series: You Can't Rewrite The Past [3]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Communication Failure, Dorks in Love, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Emotionally Repressed, Falling In Love, First Love, Friendship/Love, Healthy Relationships, Heavy Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, KageHina - Freeform, Kageyama Tobio is a Dork, Lack of Communication, Lies, Love Confessions, Love/Hate, M/M, Oikawa isn't a dick he hurts to, Teen Angst, There's a little bit of making out..., Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Unhealthy Relationships, Unresolved Emotional Tension, but it's not too explict, oikage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-07
Updated: 2017-02-07
Packaged: 2018-09-22 15:37:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9614462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PastaLeaf/pseuds/PastaLeaf
Summary: But when Oikawa enclasped his hand within his own, and looked into his eyes pleading for him to tell him.Kageyama stopped trying as he pulled Oikawa's face to his.Looking back now Kageyama realizes it was just a child's kiss a soft press of lips. He knows that should of been his first warning that...that kiss was just the beginning of the end.





	

**Author's Note:**

> The fact I finally posted this makes me legit so happy inside! Like I had the worst case of writing block plus no time to actually sit down and write this sucker! So posting this feels amazing... So if your reading this thank you so much for reading.

Kageyama never understood the whole attraction thing. I mean sure he assumed people were good looking and he did notice girl's bodies changing around him but he wasn't enthralled by it as most boys his age were.

He...

Felt...

So...

Weird...

That feeling stayed with him his first few weeks as a first year that was until he joined the volleyball club. 

That's when he saw him...

Oikawa Tooru...

He was a total utter wreck.

 

Poofy brown hair that stuck out of place at random points, a nose that was slightly crooked and off center, metal railroad tracks that covered his teeth, and his extreme lengthy height made him look like a emu or a giraffe. He was so far from perfect it was unbelievable.

But he was the most beautiful and exquisite person Kageyama had ever seen. 

He hated it...

He hated that whenever Oikawa was near he couldn't focus on anything.

He hated that every time Oikawa would speak to him his stomach would feel sick and his face would turn hot.

He hated how he couldn't help but freeze up when he'd pass Oikawa in the hall.

He hated how Oikawa would always be on his mind and how he'd haunt his dreams...

He hated it.

He hated it...

He hated it! 

He hated Oikawa! 

He hated him so much he was head over heels got him. 

Kageyama made a vow to never ruin things between them, to never act upon his feelings and the impulses they caused because Oikawa was just his Senpai and he was just one of the Senpai's Oikawa was training. 

He tried to be normal he really tried...

He made sure never to look Oikawa's way. 

He avoided him at practice.

Stopped responding to texts and calls.

He just avoided him at all costs.

That was until one night in the locker room when everything boiled over. When Oikawa backed him into a corner and pleaded him to tell him why he was avoiding him.

Kageyama denied it...and he tried. He tried not to think of Oikawa like that. He tried so hard... 

But when Oikawa enclasped his hand within his own, and looked into his eyes pleading for him to tell him.

Kageyama stopped trying as he pulled Oikawa's face to his. 

Looking back now Kageyama realizes it was just a child's kiss a soft press of lips. He knows that should of been his first warning that...that kiss was just the beginning of the end.

 

That was how it all began...

The late night walks home.

The stolen kisses at lunch.

The warmth of Oikawa's palm against his.

The good luck hugs before matches. 

The warmth of Oikawa's body pressed against his own as the huddle under Oikawa's covers in their own personal blanket castle.

Then the I love you's began...well from Kageyama at least.

Oikawa never said it back. 

Kageyama knows now that was a warning sign that should of prepared him for the inevitable end. 

Especially the way Oikawa's face would scrunch up when Kageyama would say those three little words.

At first Kageyama didn't notice anything different or off about Oikawa's relationship compared to anyone else his age. 

That was until he heard heard the upper classman talking.

"She just won't put out you know?"

"Yeah who wants to date someone who won't fuck them."

"It's pointless."

'Pointless'

It was at that moment Kageyama realized that something was off...

Oikawa never tried anything with him...

And Kageyama began to wonder...

Did Oikawa even love him?

He kissed him...he hugged him so he had to love him right? 

But he didn't try to touch him...

He didn't ever say I love you back...

So he must of not really loved him at all...

A little voice in the back of his mind would chirp constantly.

And Kageyama denied it.

Oikawa loved him...he had to...

It all became clear how Oikawa felt the day after graduation. 

When they stood under the bridge. The cool breeze fluttering through their hair as it made all the hairs on the back of Kageyama's neck stand up, as Oikawa said the words he feared most.

"We're both boys it's disgusting."

'Disgusting'

Kageyama couldn't help it that day as the tears cascaded down his face.

Oikawa didn't even love him...

He used him.

But still Kageyama begged, he pleaded for Oikawa to love him. He even offered his body as trade. 

But Oikawa left Kageyama there under that cold bridge. As he shoved him into the cool mud below.

He can hear Oikawa's voice now ringing in his ears.

His laugh piercing his skull.

He left Kageyama all alone...

Kageyama lost care for the world after that, he let his grades slip, he started ditching practice, hanging out with the wrong crowd. Which led to a whole slew of cigarettes, drinking, and drugs.

But in his mind who fucking cared? 

He lost all he cared about...

The thing he held dearest didn't feel the same.

He hated him.

He hated him.

He hated him.

Was all he could think as he'd 

knock back another shot

take another drag

another hit.

Nothing mattered anymore

Not his team

Not his school work

Not the snakes he called friends

Or the fake make up glitter covered girls he called his. 

He was all alone and he'd take care of himself all on his own. 

He'd carry a team to victory.

He would be king because he was all alone in the world that was his castle so he'd rule over it all.

 

That was until he met him...

His heart skipped a beat when he saw him.

He was warm like the sun.

The light at the end of a tunnel. 

The brave knight that finally broke down the castle walls with the sunset cascading through his hair.

He was...

Beautiful...

And he left a bitter taste in Kageyama's mouth as he remembered someone else who put those walls up in the first place. 

So he pushed him away. 

Out of sight out of mind.

He was determined never to let anyone do what Oikawa did to him ever again.

Things got bad the break between middle school and the start of highschool. 

He was always numb and unthinking one way or another. Nothing mattered so he'd just keep living on aimlessly. 

No one mattered. 

When he joined Karsuno's volleyball team he didn't expect much of anything special. But at this point Kageyama wasn't playing for his own enjoyment it just gave him an excuse to give his parents of why he'd come home with bloodshot eyes late at night...tired...he was just tired...pfft yeah right...

So he stood their aimlessly in the darkness of the gym...as the light that broke down his walls appeared.

"What are you doing here?!"

He turned around to see him standing there the sun shining through his auburn hair as a light blush flushed his cheeks and his face read confused.

Kageyama's heart pounded in his chest.

Ba-dum

Ba-dum

Ba-dum

It was happening again. 

After that Kageyama tried to distance himself that shrimp was to annoying to get involved with.

He was loud, clutzy, too dumb and peppy for his own good, and would always hint how Kageyama "smelt weird". 

Kageyama hated him.

No way...

He didn't love his smile.

He didn't wanna run his fingers through that unruly mess of auburn hair.

He didn't want to feel his lips against his.

Or his hips flushed against his as he....

Kageyama tried to deny it.

He couldn't want Hinata how he wanted Oikawa...

It was just desire.

Stupid

Petty 

Desire.

Desire that one night after practice boiled over. 

They were the last ones at practice that night and Hinata pushed him over the edge.

"Kageyama you always smell like smoke it's disgusting. If you don't stop no one will ever confess to you."

Kageyama was so sick of his stupid little goody two shoes shit. He couldn't help it when he grabbed the shrimp by his shirt slamming him into a nearby wall as obscenities poured past his lips. A loud thud echoing through the empty gym. 

Who the fuck did this carrot looking dumbass think he was.

Looking at him the way he did with anger and disgust as tears welled in his eyes. As he bit down on his slightly chapped bottom lip. A blush spreading across the hues of his cheeks. 

Kageyama wanted to make a mess out of him. 

 

With that he lost all self control colliding his mouth with Hinata's harshly as his hands moved to his hair gripping it so tightly it had to be painful. 

He waited for Hinata to pull away but was pleasantly surprised when he felt a small lick across his bottom lip and felt small lithe hands entangling in his shirt. 

Kageyama lacked all self control as he grabbed Hinata by the waist picking him up and pressing him hard against the wall as the smaller boys legs wrapped around his hips. Pulling him closer as he could press against Hinata feeling just how into this the other boy was. A smirk played across Kageyama's lips as he rutted his hips flush against Hinata's. Relishing in the tiny whimper that escaped the other boys lips, he moved his hands lower from the boys hair as he pushed up Hinata's shirt loving the feeling of his muscles tensing under his touch.

That's when he came to mind.

'Oikawa'

Kageyama felt sick.

 

It was all happening again. 

 

With that he let go of the boy pushing him away so hard that he made a loud resounding smack as he hit the hardwood floor below. 

A quick.

"Sorry." 

Was muttered before Kageyama slipped away into the night.

 

Not dare looking back.

After that Kageyama avoided Hinata at all costs.

He didn't go to practice anymore.

He ditched school.

He feared the idea of seeing the boy again.

He couldn't go through that again.

'Oikawa'

No Kageyama wouldn't think of him...

'Hinata'

No he wouldn't think of him either.

That was that Kageyama had his mind settled.

 

He had no plans of changing it. 

He went back to school eventually but not back to volleyball.

He couldn't face Hinata.

 

He just couldn't. 

He avoided Hinata all he could.

That was until Hinata found him.

He was on the roof ditching class as per usual.

He vaguely remembers hearing the roof door opening with a creek as Kageyama quickly discarded the pack of ciggarettes over the side of the roof.

He turned around to see Hinata standing there, tears brimming in his eyes. 

Kageyama's heart ached. 

"Kageyama why are you avoiding me?"

He feels weak.

He opens his mouth to speak but he can't get the words to come out. So instead he does what he's used to and wires his mouth shut.

 

So Hinata instead opens his mouth spilling the words out that slowly break down his walls.

"Why did you kiss me?"

"Why did you act like you cared about me?"

"Why did you lead me on like a fool?"

Kageyama felt tears well in his own eyes as images and memories of Oikawa flashed through his mind.

'Not again'

Hinata would use him just like Oikawa did.

He'd abandoned him.

Kageyama would be all alone again. 

He wouldn't let that happen.

He couldn't.

But when Hinata looked at him tears slipping down his cheeks.

"Kageyama I really like you and I can't tell if you like me! It hurts you jerk! Bakayama don't treat me like a fool! Either say you like me to or tell me what happened was a mistake! Don't just disappear on me!" 

Kageyama's heart stopped as the loneliness he had been feeling finally cracked and tears spilled down his cheeks.

As Hinata said the things Kageyama had always wished to hear from Oikawa.

And in that moment when he gets up and cups Hinata's face pressing his soft lips against his slightly chapped ones. 

Oikawa is replaced. 

 

Kageyama notes how a relationship with Hinata is different from Oikawa.

Hinata hugs him without stiffening up 

He kisses him with intend without pulling away

He holds his hand happily

 

He doesn't use him

Or lie

He's honest and good 

And Kageyama loves it.

But as his love for Hinata grows his hatred for Oikawa does as well.

But he doesn't dwell on it to much because Oikawa is a thing of the past.

Or so he thought.

That is till Kageyama sees him at the Aoba Johsai practice match.

And 

He 

Feels

So 

Sick. 

The smirks that left him so bitter and alone is played across that smug bastard's face. 

A wolf in sheep's clothing.

Kageyama trys not to focus on him or how he still makes his heart pound. But when their eyes connect and Oikawa's lips softly smile at him taunting him to come over and fall back again. 

Kageyama loses all self control as he backs Oikawa into a corner after the match.

Venom thick in his words.

"I found someone who isn't a disgusting pervert." 

And for a brief moment Kageyama swears he can see Oikawa falter.

His plastic smile fade.

As its replaced by pain.

And

It

Kinda 

Hurts.

But soon that same sickenly beautiful smirk is playing across his features.

"Don't act like you didn't love it Tobio-chan."

As the realization hits him again.

Oikawa never loved him...

He used him...

It was all a lie...

He can't help the few tears that blur up his vision and threaten to pour down his cheeks as his heart pounds and aches him.

'Don't say you love me..'

'Were both boys.'

'It's disgusting'

Suddenly a warmth presses against his back as he enveloped by sunshine.

His sunshine.

And he turns.

To seem him standing there a huge warm loving grin painting his cheeks.

And Kageyama can't help but smile back.

As the warmth fills his heart.

Which leads to now Kageyama riding back to Karsuno with Hinata sleeping on his shoulder with their fingers locked together in a sleepy embrace.

And all Kageyama can think in this moment is...

Maybe things were better off this way.


End file.
